Smashing The Holidays
by Atomic Cube
Summary: Mario's done it this time. In all of his holiday napping... er... cheer, he has forgotten to get Peach a Christmas gift! And it's Christmas Eve. Pit is dragged into the problem, resulting in one messed up Christmas adventure.
1. Here we go

A/N: Hey all. This is a Christmas fanfiction, starring Mario and Pit! I hope you enjoy!

Our red-capped hero lay dozing under thick blankets. He snored silently as he dreamed of plungers, mushrooms, and his princess girlfriend. Yes, yes. It was just a peaceful, cozy, morning for Mario.

He shifted a bit under the covers. Mario's eyes cracked open as he let out a monstrous yawn. He scratched his backside and rolled off of the bed like every other morning. His feet found his slippers, and he shuffled across the hard floor, still drowsy and sleepy.

Mario bumped into the wall unexpectedly, just like every other morning. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and looked up, his eyes opening wide.

Before him, as _always_, was his very own "Baby Kittens Monthly" calendar. A tired finger ran across the dates, when finally, he came to today's date. According to Sasha, the recently rescued tortoiseshell she-cat, It was Christmas Eve.

"Oh... that's good..." Mario yawned as he spoke. He loved Christmas. Fans from around the globe would always shower him with gifts during the holidays. And of course, Mario loved the egg nog.

The mustached man edged his way across the floor once more. He would only really wake up when he had eaten. Sleepily, Mario tugged on his worn overalls. After Mario had made himself presentable, he stumbled down the stairs of Smash Mansion in order to get his breakfast. Pit, one of the new, young smashers, met up with Mario halfway down the staircase.

Pit was kind of cool. He had made a lot of friends at Smash Mansion, but Mario was his best, and also his idol. Mario always had time for an admirer, so he was tolerant of Pit's company.

"Oh, hey Mario." Pit greeted the man casually. "Goin' to breakfast then?" Pit rubbed his eyes of holy eye crust. "Yup." Mario replied as he swept past Pit and into the large dining hall.

-----------------

Breakfast was cinnamon rolls with milk and napkins with smiley santa's printed on them. Mario preferred meat, so the food didn't curb his hunger very much.

"So..." Pit began. "What did you get for Peach this Christmas?" The boy asked, interested in Mario's latest gift to impress Peach.

He tilted his red cap cooly.

"You know me, it's going to be expensive, romantic, and pink. Everything Peach adores." Come to think of it, what did Mario get for his girl this year? He didn't remember shopping or anything... Maybe it.. Uh... Oh.

It was then, in that moment in time. That Mario realized that he actually hadn't bought Peach a gift.

"Oh... oh no." Mario's eyes grew wide as milk dripped from his fuzzy mustache. "I have to get her a gift." Mario croaked.

"What?" Pit leaned in closer, not understanding what Mario meant. "But you said it was expensive, romantic, and pink."

"I HAVE TO GET HER A GIFT!" Mario hollered, panicking now. This outburst surprised Pit so that he jumped from his seat and sent his cinnamon roll flying through the air.

"Oh, jeez, Mario. What's with the yelling?" Falco called from across the table. The bird preferred peaceful mornings, anything loud or obnoxious ticked him off. "Can it Lombardi!" Mario snarled.

"Come on Pit!" Mario grasped Pit by the wing. "You have to help me!!" The angel was yanked out of the dining hall, and into another one of Mario's adventures.


	2. This is why we love Pit

"Ow. Owowowowow! OWIE!" Pit wriggled and squirmed as Mario dragged the boy into the mansion's garage. "Jeez! Mario! That hurts!" Angry and confused, Pit ripped his wing away from a panic-stricken Mario. He leapt from the floor and smoothed his hair quickly.

"No time no time..." Mario muttered to himself as he scanned the garage of Smash Mansion. "Are stores even open on Christmas Eve?" Mario asked, not turning from searching the room.

"Uh, yeah." Pit said, still dazed. "Do... I have to come with you?" He said in a whiney tone. Of course, reluctance was cool, he actually did want to go with Mario. "Yes!" Mario snarled angrily.

"Okay." The boy nodded as if nothing had happened. "Errr... by the way... What are you looking for?"

"The Mario mobile." Mario said. "It's really speedy, and cool-looking."

"Whaa?" The dorky name surprised Pit. Mario didn't seem like the guy to have a car named after him. Oh well, if it has the word "Mario" in it, it must be pretty rad. "Shot gun!" Pit was suddenly excited about the trip.

"Shot gun? No no no... There's no shot gun in the mario mobile." The man began digging in piles of boxes and junk. "Ohh..." Pit nodded knowingly. "It's a motorcycle then!" He smiled. "Am I right! I know I'm right... After all I..."

"Just shut up." Mario interrupted. "It's not a motorcycle either, have you any idea how dangerous those things are?" He dove into a basket of old clothes. "Aha!" Mario's muffled voice was heard.

"I've got it!" Mario wiggled out of the mess, pulling out with him a bright red tricycle. He gave it a quick kiss and placed it on the floor lovingly.

If this was anime, Pit would have a sweat drop moment.

"THAT'S the Mario Mobile?!" The boy's wings twitched in annoyance.

"How am I supposed to ride?"

"Don't worry." Mario reassured him. The man dove into the basket once more, this time emerging with a small red wagon. Smirking, he hooked the wagon to the back of the trike.

"I don't think I can fit in that." Pit shook his head, still disappointed by his idol. "I think you would." Mario replied.

"Hmm... Okay..." Pit stepped onto the wagon. He wrapped his arms around his knees and made himself as small as he could.

"This is extremely uncomfortable." Pit whined. This time, he meant it.

"Well, there are more important things in this world than comfort." Mario remarked as he hopped onto the tricycle. "Now then, LET'S GO!"

"Vroom, vroom." Mario supplied the sound effects as the trike wheeled weakly out of the garage. It squeaked in pain as it rolled down the driveway and onto the pavement.

"Um, Mario..." Pit tapped on his shoulder. "You know, there's a nice shop with cute little trinkets not so far away...I'm sure you could find a gift there, and it's in walking distance."

Mario nodded. "That's where I'm going."

"It'll be much faster if we walk." Pit said. "Pfft, suure..." Pit could here the man rolling his eyes. "You can walk, but the trike is way better."

"Okay then!" Pit stumbled out of the wagon. "See you there Mario!" He waved and strode past the tricycle. "Suit yourself Pit..." Just then, Mario clicked a button on the left handle bar of the trike. "SOOPA SPEED!" He hollered. Pit stopped to watch. The whole thing was sad, yet hilarious. The tricycle made a humming noise, and little cardboard engines appeared at the back of the Mario Mobile.

"Oh this is great...I wish I had a camera." Pit laughed to himself. But his laughter was silenced. Suddenly, the miniature engines burst into a bright blue flame, and the trike rocketed past the boy with a sonic boom, leaving a scorch-mark trail behind it.

"Holy crud!" Pit stumbled back at the unexpected flash of fire and light. "Wha--" Mario had gone, but faint whooping was heard in the distance.

I guess the tricycle was fast after all.


	3. Wave of Destruction

"This isn't so bad..." Pit sighed to himself as he strolled down the sidewalk. "It's a nice day for a walk... a bit cold... but.." The boy continued to make small talk with himself.

"Boy, Mario isn't as cool as I thought he was, this is completely out of character for him!" He murmured. Yet still, Pit remained loyal to his idol, and proceeded to follow him.

"OMG!!! It's Pit! Get him!" A girls voice screeched from across the street. The boy turned around slowly. "Eh? Oh. Just another fan." Pit smiled and waved to the girl. Roy had warned him of random fangirl stampedes, but it was only one girl.

"Hey! Nice day today isn't it?" Pit waved as he grinned. "How are you?" Finally, he had someone to talk to besides himself. Maybe she could accompany him on the walk...

"Hey!" Pit began to ask. "Do you wa----What the!?" Pit stumbled back. A small, dark line was forming in the distance. The ground began to rumble, and the faint roar of a stampede of Pit-obbsessed chicks was heard. "Oh my..." The boy's eyes grew wide, it was as if the whole street was being devoured by the wave of females. And maybe a guy or two.

"Meep!" Pit squeaked, turned away, and bolted off in the opposite direction. If you had a birds-eye view, the scene would resemble an ant being chased by a swell of multi-colored water. Pit flapped his wings, trying desperately to lift off of the ground.

But he remained on the sidewalk, still running from the fangirl wave. In order to fly, he needed to be calm, and he wasn't really relaxed. "Nooo!" He felt the wave getting closer, millions of fans screaming right behind him. "W-why didn't I just ride on the tricycle?!" He sobbed. Hands had begun snatching at his ankles. "This is the end!" The angel closed his eyes, and skidded to a halt.

The wave swallowed him, every girl frantically trying to get to the spot where he stood. It was crazy. Pit couldn't tell what was happening because his eyes were closed, and even if they were open, he would probably have them blocked by some girl's foot. Poor, poor Pit.

He felt everything smothering him, he was barely able to breathe. But then, he could again. The smothering feeling was gone, and he could feel air surrounding him. Not freaky fangirls, air!

"Hey Pit? You all right?" Mario's voice was heard. Pit opened his eyes.

"Mario? Wha... Thanks man!" It was obvious Mario had saved him from the fanwave.

"No problem Pit!" The two were riding on the tricycle. Well, Mario was, Pit was halfway in the wagon. "How'd you do it?" Asked Pit, curious as to how Mario managed to rescue Pit from the giggling mass of death. "It wasn't that hard..." Mario said humbly. "All I really had to do was drive at SOOPA SPEED through the center of all the action..." Despite the fact that Mario created sound effects and puppet hands with that explanation, Pit still thought it was awesomely cool.

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I meant it to be long, but, yeah...


	4. Funny!

"Here we are!" Mario slowed the tricycle down as the pair approached the store. It was a quaint little shop, the tanned walls were clean, and shrubs of flowers grew along the edges. There were no windows, only a door. As Mario and Pit climbed off of the trike and walked towards the entrance, they noticed the smell of burning incense. It seemed like the place that would have the perfect gift for Peach. After all, Peach's room smelled much like the shop itself.

Pit looked to the horizon. The sun was setting, hopefully the store would stay open long enough so Mario could find the appropriate gift.

"Er, Mario... You may want to hurry up a tad..." Pit suggested lightly, he didn't want to get on Mario's bad side. The man was a little testy today. "It's getting late... And... yeah. I'll stop." Pit stopped speaking as Mario's mustache twitched. Mario pushed through the door, not bothering to be polite and hold it open for Pit. A small bell jingled as the door was opened. Inside of the shop, the stench of perfumes, candles, and incense all mixed together was overwhelming. Pit gagged as he stepped in. "Ugh... That's way too strong.." He said to himself.

A wiry old woman seated behind the cash register nodded in their direction. Mario ignored her and proceeded to search for a gift to give his girlfriend. A few other shoppers were walking around the store.

"Hey, what about that?" Pit pointed to a poodle figurine, but Mario ignored him. The boy was a little annoyed, after all, Mario had dragged him along to this shop to help, and so far, Pit has had no use. "Geeze Mario... you sure are acting funny today."

Mario whirled around to face Pit, foaming at the mouth. (...Er... 0.0) "Funny?!" He screeched. "I'll tell you what's funny!!!" Mario took a deep breath, preparing to scream a lecture about good and evil. Though, I don't think "good and evil" had much to do with the situation. "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! Blaaah... Blah blah! Blah. Blah? BLAHBLAH!" Though Mario was speaking clearly and loudly, nonsense was all Pit could make out, all youth possess this talent.

"And one more thing!" Mario had begun to waggle his gloved finger in Pit's face.

"Ehh... Hey man... Is everything all right?" A curious customer interrupted Mario in mid-rant, poking his head between him, and Pit. "'cause you know... The yelling is kind of giving me a head ache." The customer smiled sheepishly. "Would you mind keeping it down?" Despite the man's politeness, Mario still glared at him fiercely, and the customer took offense. "Err, dude. What's with the funny look?" He questioned.

"Oh no..." Pit massaged his temples with his fingertips. He knew what was coming. "Funny?!" Mario repeated. **"DO YOU THINK I'M FUNNY?!"** Flecks of foam flew from Mario's mouth. Who knew the lovable hero was so irritable? "EEK!" The man took off, frightened by Mario's sudden outburst. "That's right go! GO!"

"Okay Mario just stop... Let's go find a gift... _please_."

"Okay Pit... This place is full of rude and obnoxious people anywa---Heyy... What's that?" Mario brushed past Pit and towards a shelf of crystal-clear glass figurines. "It... It's perfect..." Mario exclaimed breathlessly as he picked up a crystal peach. "Seriously... her name is Peach... and this is a peach... It's perfect!" He smiled triumphantly and walked towards the cashier. "That's actually kind of stupid." Pit thought, he dare not say it aloud. Mario handled the item with care as he placed it gently on the counter. "How much?" He asked, getting out his coin purse as he did so.

"Okay.. um... That will be four dollars and twenty-five cents!" The old woman replied. Sure, it wasn't expensive. It wasn't exactly romantic... and it wasn't pink. But it was a gift from the heart all the same. Once Mario had paid, the two walked casually out the door, unknowing of the shock that awaited them outside.

A/N: Yeah, I guess short chapters are just my style. I just wanted to leave this one at a cliffie... Heh.


	5. Arrg

"That went well." Mario said as he and Pit strolled out of the store. "Now all we have to do is get home, and wrap it." He held the peach up to the dim light of the setting sun. Hopefully, it would survive the trip home on the Mario Mobile. Mario patted the peach on the... er... leaves. "Whoo... It was all crazy there for a while but--"

He stopped when he saw it, or didn't see it. The Mario Mobile was gone. There was nothing where they had parked it, not even the little red wagon remained. "Wha---" Mario rubbed his eyes, not believing what he didn't see. "S-someone stole my Mario Mobile!" He squeaked. "I can't believe it!"

"I know..." Pit sighed, though he was secretly cheering inside. He didn't really look forward to cramming his body into a super speedy wagon pulled by a tricycle. "Who would want to steal my Mario Mobile!" Mario's mustache drooped. "Er..." Pit rubbed his shoulder nervously. "A toddler.. possibly." He laughed weakly at his subtle humor. Mario glared at him.

"Sorry man. We'll just have to take a cab."

"A cab? I don't think I've ever ridden in a cab before."

"It's okay, it's nothing special." Pit smiled as he reassured his friend.

Mario and Pit stood on the sidewalk, leaning this way and that to avoid people who rushed past them.

"Taxi!" Pit waved at an approaching cab, waving his arm at it. The yellow vehicle pulled to a stop in front of the two. Pit opened the door and Mario climbed inside. "This is so cool!" Mario squealed like a small child as he eyed the taxi's interior. Pit plopped himself down next to him and closed the door.

"Where to?" The driver asked. The voice they heard was strangely familiar. Like a voice heard on a television commercial, or on the radio. (Or on an extremely addictive video game.) "The Smash Brothers Mansion please." Pit answered.

"Eh?" The cab driver seemed to have problems understanding. "The Smash Brothers Mansion please." Pit repeated. "Wha."

"Uh... Super Smash Brothers Mansion please... You know.. the mansion, the giant one. Up by that one store with the fish and---"

"Huh?"

"Look man, do you want me to write it down on a piece of paper!? Because I will."

"Watch yer salior's mouth ye wee snappin' turtle! Don't talk to an' ole sea legend like me that way! It'd be down right disrespectful." An old green frog turned his head around, giving Pit the ugliest stink eye the boy had ever seen. He smelled of sea water and sweat. "Now ye.. now ye better watch yer tounge! Or I might as well hurl you off my ship! So don't ye... don't ye.. I'm sorry. What were we talking about?"

"You were going to drive me to Smash Mansion." Pit repeated once more, this time slowly, and loudly. "Oh, right then." The turtle nodded his wrinkly head and turned his eyes back to the road. He pushed on the gas, and the cab was off. "So, headin' to Smash Brothers Mansion, must be nice, going off on yer own. I never got an opportunity like that in my youth. Harhar.. Lucky yougin'. So, what's yer name child?"

"Pit." He replied, a little weirded out by the turtle's odd behavior. Pit could see the driver nod his head. "Ayy, Pit. What a fine name for a pretty lass."

"What?! LASS?! I'm a dude, dude!" The BOY was shocked, how could anyone mistake HIM for a girl? "Arrg, calm down! No need to get yer panties in a knot. Harharhar.." The turtle laughed faintly as Pit grew even more angry. "So, do ye 'ave enough money to get settled?" He asked, not taking his eyes off of the road. "Er.." This guy was definitely off his rocker. "Settled? I... What? Dude, I'm sure I have enough money for the ride, I'm not a hobo." The boy rolled his eyes. "Arrg, ye sound pretty confident now. Oh look, we've arrived at Smash Brothers Mansion. Hahh... 'Tis time to say goodbye love. Do an' old turtle a favor and try to be a bit more polite next time, eh?" He said jokingly, but Pit and Mario had already climbed out of the car, stumbling towards the entrance of their home, sweet home.

A/N: It's the Cap'n baybay. From Animal Crossing. He rules. It's kind of odd that I made him speak to Pit the way he would speak to a person moving into a new town. I made him sound a tad doddering. (:I was originally going to have them run into the Cash Cab, but that would be too much torture for Pit. And apparently, Mario and Pit forgot that Smash Mansion was in a walking distance. And apparently apparently, Pit forgot to pay the taxi driver for the ride.


End file.
